Stage 1: Denial
by jnw1991
Summary: I am not in love with James Potter. So what if all the head boys and girls in the past have fallen in love. That doesn’t mean that will happen to James and Me. Because like I said, I am not in love with James…Alice, what do you mean I’m in denial?
1. Chapter 1

**Stage 1-Denial**

**By jnw1991 AKA Jazzi**

**Author's Notes- This is my first Harry Potter fic, so please be nice and don't send me flames. Sorry if this isn't as funny as it should be. It will get funnier.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, Hermione and Ron would already be together.**

**Other Notes- Lily, James, and the Marauders are in the beginning of their 7th year.**

I am not in love with James Potter. Why should I be? So what if all the head boys and girls in the past have fallen in love, gotten married, and ended up having lots of babies. That doesn't mean that will happen to James and Me. Because like I said, I am not in love with James…Alice, what do you mean I'm in a stage of denial?

September 1st 1977,

I can't believe Professor Dumbledore would do this to me. He knows how much I can't stand potter. So why did he have to make him Head Boy? He doesn't even fit the qualifications. He has never been a prefect. You're supposed to be a prefect to become Head Boy or Girl. Not only that, but he has the worst record in the history of Hogwarts. He and his little gang, The Marauders, have been wreaking havoc since they first arrived.

Now, I'm not saying all the Marauders are terrible. In fact, one of them is a pretty good friend of mine. Remus Lupin is the nicer, more sensitive one of the group. He is a prefect, and doesn't cause as much trouble as the others. Not only that, but he is extremely smart and really cute. I used to have a crush on him, back in my 4th year. Now, we're just friends, helping each other with homework, talking about how our days are, making him listen to me complain about the last prank Potter did.

Alice is looking at me with a mischievous look in her eyes. (Alice is my best friend, by the way. We've been best friends since the first day in our first year). She only gives me that look when she's up to something.

"Now explain to me why you are in here again?" she asks, even though I have told her like 5 times already.

"I don't want to be in there with Potter."

"Why not? Are you afraid to walk into his bathroom while he's in the shower and shag him senseless?" Damn her and her perverted mind.

"Why would I ever do that?" I shouldn't have asked this. I knew what she was going to say.

"Maybe because you love him…"

"I DON'T LIKE POTTER! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT!"

"Ahh, to be young and in the stage of denial."

I can't believe she says I'm in denial. I don't have anything to deny. Really…I don't.

"I'm not in denial. I'm just telling the truth." I say.

"Fine then, whatever you say." And with that, she leaves the dorm, probably to look for her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom.

I rolled my eyes and got up from my old bed. I was going to miss being in here. It wasn't that I didn't like the private Head Dorm I have. It's just that, I have to share it with Potter.

I walked out of the door and headed for the Head Tower. I took my time walking. Hopefully, once I got there, Potter would be asleep and I would be able to sneak into my room and get a good night of sleep.

I was wrong….

Music was playing from every side of the room. Students, drunk students, where slurring around, bumping into walls and such. There were even people passed out on the floor, due to too much drinking. I looked at the couch and saw Remus, sleeping. How could he sleep with so much noise around him? I tapped on his shoulder, and he looked up at me, with a look of worry.

"Err, hello Lily. When did you come in?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago. I came here to get a good night's sleep, but apparently your buddies thought otherwise." I noticed him glancing around, probably looking for a way to escape from my wrath. He wouldn't leave that easily.

"I see…" he was still glancing around, and becoming more nervous with each passing second.

"So tell me dear Remus," I put on my fake smiley cheery face, "where is Potter?"

"I believe he is over there dancing with that lady with him." he pointed to a corner where, sure enough, Potter was dancing with some girl that I didn't even know. He was dancing close to her…too close.

"Thank you Remus. Now I advise you to go gather the rest of you Marauders and get everyone out of here. _Now._" he didn't have to be told twice. He hurried to the other side of the room, where Sirius Black was trying to play Pin-the-tail-on-Peter-Pettigrew. I could see Remus telling Black and Peter, both who paled faster than anyone I had ever seen. Next thing I knew, people were being scrambled out the door.

I walked to where James and his little girl were still dancing, even though the music had been turned off. I tapped on his shoulder, and he turned around, with a drunken grin on his face.

"Heeyy Lillsy! Howw youuu beeen?" he slurred.

"Why in the hell are all these people in here? They shouldn't be in here!"

"Allll….calm down Lils! We were just having a..err…back-to-schhhoool partay."

"I will not calm down until all these people are out of the dorm." I huffed.

"Come onnn…lossen uppp!"

"No. Now tell your little girlfriend to get out." I knew I said that the wrong way, just by looking at the way his eyes gleamed.

"Why? Jeaalousss?"

"No…I just don't appreciate you having you girlfriends out here in the open of the dorm and you practically shagging her in front of me." Damn. I did it again.

"You don't wannnt to see meee with her 'cuz you're jeaalousss!" he raised a victory fist in the air.

"I told you, I'm not jealous."

"Don't deny that you want me." He's the second person who's told me that today!

"I'm not denying anything."

"Then prooove it. Kissss meee babyyy!" He puckered his lips at me. I glared at him and walked to my private quarters, leaving him there. Before I left I heard him yell back to me.

"If you're jealous, why do you keep denying it?

I was about to yell something back, but then I thought of it. Why did I act so jealous around his girlfriend? Maybe I am jealous. Maybe I might just like him…

**Author- Well there it is, Chapter 1. I know, it's n****ot funny, but I hope the next few chapters will be funnier. Next chapter will be in James' POV, with wonderful side commentary from Sirius, Remus, and Peter. I'm gonna try to get it out in the next couple of days, before I leave for Georgia. So expect that real soon. Also, I'm not sure if the series has ever said anything about Alice Longbottom's maternal last name, but if it has, then can someone please let me know. Thanks!**

**A little lost girl looks at you and says: Please read and review and no flames!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- Me no own tear

**Note**

**Blah- James**

_**Blah-Peter**_

_Blah- Remus_

Blah- Sirius

* * *

September 2nd, 1977, 

Hello, dear diary! I'm James 'Prongs' Potter. You may know me as the quidditch star and as the resident stalker of Lily Evans, but there is more to me than meets the eye. For example, in my spare time, I like to comb the hair of my muggle Barbie doll. I have been found reading sappy love novels, hoping that Lily and I will end up the same way as the corny couples. But you wanna know the biggest thing about me? I have been so desperate, that I have begged at the feet of my best friend, Padfoot, to be just like him-

**Padfoot, I would never want to be like you**

_**And what's wrong with reading romance novels? I find them quite interesting.**_

Well, for starters, Wormtail, I didn't even know you could read. As for you Prongs, you know you want to be me, with my ravishing black hair, charming smile, and one-of-a-kind personality.

_Padfoot, I pity anyone that wants to be you._

So you pity yourself, Moony?

…_Prongs, can you please move on?_

**Yes Moony, for your sake, I will. So, journal, if you haven't picked it up already, none of that stuff that Padfoot said is true…except for the quidditch-**

And the stalking Lily part.

**I don't stalk Lily.**

So, if I wasn't to go through your drawers, I wouldn't find a pair of her knickers that she knows you stole.

**What pair of knickers? I don't have any of Lily's knickers.**

_**Yes you do Prongs. You showed me yesterday.**_

**Uhh…anyway, I got some great news! Lily kissed me yesterday!**

What!

_**What!**_

_What!_

**Yep, last night at the party.**

_**Are you sure you weren't imagining it?**_

**Why would I have imagined it?**

_Because, she was looking for you to kill you for holding a party in the Head Dorm._

**She must have forgiven me, when I worked my charm on her.**

I saw her talking to you, but then you tried to kiss her, and she left.

**I could have sworn I kissed a red-head.**

_Well, Lily was the only red-head girl at the party…oh no._

**What?**

_Frank Longbottom was drunk at the party, and was wearing a red wig._

BWAHAHAHAHA! JAMES KISSED FRANK!

**Padfoot, are you crazy, everyone is looking at us! Oh crap, Alice heard. And she's mad.**

_**You know, Alice has a temper that can match Lily's.**_

**That isn't helping, Wormtail. Moony, tell the world about this morning, while I run from- AHHHH!**

That was quite a girlish scream.

_Yes it was. So what exactly happened this morning?_

Besides Prongs getting rejected by Lily…again.

_**You know, maybe we can hook them up. **_

I am not a matchmaker, Wormtail.

_It could give us something to do while Alice is trying to castrate Prongs._

Fine, but only because James' girly screams are giving me a bloody headache.

_**Ooh, I have an idea.**_

…Well?

_**Well, what?**_

_What is your idea?_

_**OH! I was thinking maybe we could send her some notes anonymously, and then James will be jealous, and then he will proclaim his love to Lily, and they will live happily ever after and name me godfather of their children.**_

…_That has got to be the most cliché thing I have ever heard. _

Yeah! Besides, they will name me godfather of their children!

_**No they won't!**_

Yes they will!

_**No they won't!**_

Yes they will!

_Please stop fighting!_

Whatever, I won anyway. Now, we could always slip some veritaserum into their drinks and make them proclaim their love.

_Cliché._

_**We could lock them in a broom closet and not let them leave until they admit it.**_

_Cliché._

Since you keep cliché-ing us, what do you have in mind?

_Causally talk to Lily, something other than Prongs, and them when she realizes that we mean no harm and when she puts her guard down, ask if she has small feelings for Prongs._

Ooh, I know the perfect thing to do! This will go down in Marauder history! Pranksters and matchmakers extraordinaire!

_Tell us later, let me just rip the evidence._

_**Why?**_

_Just incase Prongs sees what we're doing._

Aww, poor paper.

**Ok, I'm back, what did I miss?**

_**Nothing.**_

_Nothing._

Nothing.

**Ya'll are up to something.**

Us? Never. Got to go. Nice scar by the way!

**Get back her you bloody wankers! **

**

* * *

So, what are Remus, Sirius, and Peter planning to do? I know, and you don't...at least I hope you don't... **

**A/N: There you go, chapter 2. Sorry for the short chapter. It looked longer when I was typing it. Oh well. I have no idea when the next chapter will be out. It will be in Lily's POV, once again. Until then, make my little lost girl self happy and review please! No flames, either. She doesn't like hot stuff.**

**PS- THANKS TO ALL MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS AND READERS! YOU ALL ARE THE BEST! I WILL START DOING REVIEW RESPONSES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER SO LOOK FOR THAT SOON! THANKS AGAIN!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: New chappie! WOOHOO! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own it.**

**Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Belongs to Rowling. (It's a haiku peoples!)**

* * *

September 5th, 1977 

Ugh! Everywhere I look; there are the same stupid signs. In the corridors, Great Hall, common room, even the bathrooms. Here's what it says:

_**Obsessed with chocolate?**_

_**Mad at boyfriend and his dorm mate?**_

_**Annoyed by a certain raven-haired guy and think you hate him, but you are actually **_

**_Secretly in love with him, and you don't know it yet?_**

_**If you answered yes to any of these, then you need counseling. Special counseling! If you would like this special counseling, make an appointment in the empty class next to the Charms room ASAP! We guarantee you counseling free, or your money back!**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Da Rat, the Nerd, and El Snuffles **_

…tell me that's not weird.

That's not even the worst part. Alice is dragging me to one. She says that both of us need counseling. I told her I don't need counseling. She told me not to deny it. I wish that people would stop telling me to stop denying stuff!

We are sitting here outside of the room, waiting for our number to be called. Yeah, we had to pull numbers. You would think that we were at some muggle barber's shop. …Oh great, my number just got called. I guess I'll write more later.

So I walked in there, and took a seat on the couch. There was a desk in front of me, and a chair, but the chair was facing away from me. I guessed someone was sitting there, because it turned around once I got comfortable.

When the counselor turned around, I knew this would take some time getting used to. He was a tall guy, with black eyes, and a blond toupee. I know it was a toupee. He had to hold it down every time he moved his head. If it wasn't for the fake blond hair, you would have thought that it was Sirius.

"So, what brings you to my office today, Ms. Evans?" he said in a too-much-for-comfort voice.

"My best friend dragged me here."

"So you have no problems what so ever?"

"Yep. Now can I please go? I have some homework to do." I got up and started walking towards the door, but suddenly, two very big, very muscular guys came out of nowhere and guarded the door.

"I believe you will have time for that later. The charms homework that you're talking about isn't even due till next week."

I glared at him, but sat back down.

"Now, it has come to my understanding, that you are extremely infatuated with a certain Head Boy."

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Ahh, that' the first step. Denial."

I swear the next time someone says that…

"So today we are going to work on overcoming that denial. I want you to say this with me. I am in love with James Potter."

"I am NOT in love with James Potter." I can feel my face getting red from anger.

"No, it's I AM in love with James Potter." Right now I just want to wipe that smirk off of his face.

"I don't have to say anything."

"Fine, then. Now I wonder, how did you feel when James was dancing with that girl at the party?

Now I was totally not expecting that to happen. I thought he was going to continue with the whole 'me loving James' thing.

"I don't know…I guess…I don't know." I said. Suddenly, the floor was looking very interesting.

"Maybe, you were jealous." He grinned maniacally at me, almost as if he knew something that I didn't.

"Maybe I was-"

"YES! IT'S ABOUT BLOODY TIME!" he stood up, screaming so then the whole world can hear.

"How about next time, you don't tell the whole world that." I glared at him.

"Err, right. Well, that concludes this week's session. Next week, you will be talking with The Nerd about how to deal with this not-so-traumatic thingy," he said, "until then, you have an assignment. I would like you to sit with James for every meal, and have at least one decent conversation with him. Don't think I won't know. I'm everywhere.

I took note of the strange look in his eyes.

"Now you are free to go. The assignment starts tomorrow at breakfast." He waved to me as I got up.

"Right, err, thank you…"

"The name is…El Snuffles."

"Right, El Snuffles. Good Bye."

And that was it. Yeah, I know I shouldn't have gone with it, but I couldn't help but think that maybe he was right. To cure whatever is wrong with me, I have to take it head-on. Only problem is, we have never had a conversation where I have not threatened or yelled at him.

_**flashback**_

"Potter, could you pass me the milk?"

"Only if you could pass me some of yours."

"POTTER!"

_**end flashback**_

Or that one other time…

_**flashback**_

"POTTER, THE NEXT TIME YOU SMACK MY ARSE, I'LL KICK YOURS!"

_**end flashback**_

And then the more recent time…

_**last flashback**_

"Lily flower, can I sleep in your bed?"

_**end last flashback**_

Honestly, does he not know what NO means?

But seriously, if it will make me stop being jealous of him, then I'll do it. If it doesn't work, then El Snuffles better be able to run fast.

* * *

A/N-There is chapter 3. Let's see if I can get more reviews than the last time (which I seriously hope so). No flames please! 

**PS-THANKIES TO MY WONDERFUL READERS AND REVIEWERS! I SHALL REWARD YOU ALL GREATLY WITH SOME WONDERFUL...COOKIES! WOOHOO!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter... 

Note-Due to serious writer's block for this story, this chapter might be boring. Sorry.

* * *

James POV

September 17th, 1977

The world is coming to an end.

And for once, it's not about Voldemort.

Lily Evans, my beautiful soon-to-be girlfriend and the Head Girl to my Head Boy, has called me by my first name.

Not only that, but she spoke to be in a friendly voice, and she smiled at me. Nicely.

...The world is truly coming to an end.

It happened today during breakfast. Usually, she is very cranky and ready to bite anyone's head off at such a early hour of the day.

Trust me, I've been on the receiving end of it. A lot.

So, she came in and I was already there with Remus and Sirius. Peter was still sleeping, and it's always funny seeing him in such a rush to get to McGonagall's class. Anyway, she walked up with a kind smile, saying hello to some students as she walked passed them. She even said hello to some Slytherins, who scowled at her in return.

Something must be wrong with her if she is saying hello to Slytherins.

Then, she walks up towards my group and smiles.

"Hello James, how are you today?"

By this time, the whole hall, teachers, ghosts, and students alike, are quiet and listening. Apparently, I'm not the only one who thought that something wasn't wrong with Evans.

"I'm fine...thank you?" I answered, a little bit afraid of what she was up to. I just hoped that my fear of her didn't show in me.

"Prongs, why is your voice squeeking? Are you still going through puberty?"

Damn Sirius.

"Umm, ok then. I will see you in class." And with that, she walked away to sit with Alice.

"Hmm, I wonder why she is so happy," I asked as I fed myself you porridge.

"I wonder..." There was a mischivoues gleam in Padfoot and Moony's eyes. They were up to something.

"What did you two do?"

"How dare you point the finger at us! Why ever would you think such a thing? We are perfect little angels," Padfoot exclaimed.

If they're perfect little angels, I'll give up quidditch for the rest of my life.

"What makes you think that we are always up to something?" Moony asked, while chewing on a piece of bacon.

"Your expressions easily say that you two did this. Now what is wrong with Evans?"

They didn't answer. They looked at me, then looked at Lily, and then sniggered.

"What?"

The two idiots wouldn't listen. They just kept laughing.

"Fine then, if you won't tell me, then I shall find out for myself!" I got up, and went to sit next to Lily.

Just so you know, the Great Hall is silenced once again.

"Hello, Evans," I said, using my deep, seductive voice. I was only using it to cover my fear.

"Oh, hi James. Listen, do you think it's possible that maybe we can start calling each others by our first name. I really don't think its right to be calling each other by our surnames, considering that we both are Heads and will have to work together for the rest of the school year," she asked me, with her stunningly big, emerald eyes looking at me.

Just so you know, the Great Hall could now be heard gasping, with the exception of Sirius and Remus, who are still sniggering quietly.

"Err, umm, I guess so," I stuttered. I could hear myself squeeking. Was I really this scared of her?

"Great! Well, I've got to get going. Class starts in a couple of minutes. I'll see you then." She got up as I got up to return to the snickering duo. Just as she was about to pass me, she reached over and gave me a hug.

"You are such a great friend." And with that she was gone.

Now, here I was, standing in the middle of an eeriely quiet Great Hall, after being hugged by Lily Evans, the girl who was suppose to be hating my guts. I could see the students and ghosts out of the corner of my eye, staring at me, and then turning to their friends to gossip about what had just happened and that the world was coming to an end. If I was to turn my head, I probably would have seen the teachers doing the same thing.

I could've sworn I heard a second year muttering about writing to his family, about hell finally freezing over.

And amongst all of this, Moony and Padfoot are still sniggering.

I walked back to my seat and looked at two of three fellow marauders. They stopped laughing, looked at me, looked at each other, and then started laughing some more.

I sat there and thought about what had just happened. I thought about over and over again, and finally came to a conclusion.

Lily was drugged...and Padfoot and Moony were the perpretrators.

I glared at them, as they re-enacted the scenes, from their perspective. Other students were watching, amused.

"Detention."

The word flew out of my mouth, just as fast as the Great Hall became silent. Everyone, teachers included, were shocked that I just given someone detention, nevertheless my best friends.

Apparently, no one thought that I would ever give anyone detention...well, except for the Slytherins.

Their looks of shock and surprise almost made me smirk. I stood up to get ready to go to class, but looked at them, one last time.

"Only if you tell me what you did to Lily, shall I let your detention off." And with that, I stalked off.

Now I know that this was something that I, James Potter, would never do. But what was I suppose to do? Let them off while Lily is acting completely off her rocker? Maybe it was a little harsh to give them detention. They'll get over it when I finally figure out what is wrong with Lily, get married to her, and name our children after them.

I walked into Transfiguration class to find Lily in the room by herself. She was reading a book that I think was called "How to Love Your Enemies," or something like that. I went over to sit next to her and began talking in my manly voice.

"Lily, what the hell is wrong with you?" She looked at me like I was crazy. I gave her the same look right back at her.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Potter, and would you please call me Evans like you usually do," she said in her usual cool tone when she talks to me.

"Because you told me to call you Lily this morning," I said.

"Why would I ever say that to you? And besides, I was in the library this morning, finishing up some Charms homework." She had that look in her eyes. The one where she is getting more annoyed by the second.

"But you was in the Great Hall this morning, and you were smiling, and saying hello to everyone including the Slytherins, and you came up to me and said 'Hello James,' and then went to sit with Alice, and then I came over and you told me to stop calling you Evans and call you my your first name, and then before you left you gave me a hug and said I was such a good friend!" I exclaimed at her in all but one breath. She continued to look at me strangely.

"Potter, I can assure you that I was in the library. If you don't believe me, then you can ask Madame Pince. Now if you'd excuse me, I left something in the library, and I need to go get it." She got up, and left the class.

I looked at my watch and noticed that there was still 20 minutes until class started, so I laid my head down onto the desk and started thinking. Something was going on, but I didn't know what. First Lily was in the Great Hall, acting so strange the teachers started gossiping. Then, Lily says that she was in the library, acting as normal as ever.

I could feel a headache coming.

Twenty minutes later, I heard my classmates come in. I got up to go sit in my regular seat, but a hand pushed me back down.

"Where do you think your going?" Lily had come back, looking the same bit crazy as she had in the Great Hall.

"To my seat, I know you don't want me near your bubble."

"I don't mind if you stay here James. Alice is sitting with Frank today, so I'll be all alone." Lily made a puppy dog face, that looked natural when she did it.

"Err, ok then." I sat back down, with a grin on my face.

"Mr. Potter, I do hope you and Ms. Evans' new found friendship won't disturb my class," McGonagall said, looking sternly at us.

"No ma'am."

"Good. Now for today's lesson..."

I've go to say, Transfiguration was different. Between Lily calmly flirting (yes I said flirting) with me, and noticing that Sirius was not in class (Peter had turned up on time), I was having a good day. No major accidents, no detentions (for me), and Lily was flirting with me.

Ahh, life is good.

Too bad it never stays like that.

Double potions was next, with Professor Smith as our potions teacher. Any male will tell you that she was hot.

Any male will also tell you that she can be the biggest bitch in the world.

"Before we start our class today, I need to make a little announcement," her blond hair swayyed as she walked, "as I was going through my supplies over the summer, to see if I needed anything important, I noticed that some ingredients had disappeared. The ingredients were for a polyjuice potion, which is illegal for students to use during school."

With this she turned to glare at Sirius, who had somehow returned, and Peter, who cowered in fear of her.

Wait, now where was Remus?

I shrugged, and turned my attention to Smith.

"If I find that someone stole those ingredients to produce a polyjuice potion, I will make sure they are expelled from this school." By now, she was looking at Sirius and Peter.

"Where is Potter?" she asked Peter, knowing he wouldn't lie to her.

"He's sitting next to Lily, ma'am."

Smith turned to where Lily and I were sitting, and smirked.

"Well, well, well. So you two decided to finally get together. It took you bloody long enough." She had a wierd gleam in her eyes, but didn't say anything else.

"Now today, we will be making a..." I tuned out for the rest of the lesson. Where could Moony be. He never EVER skipped class. I added that to the list of strange things that have happened today.

First Lily, then Sirius, and now Remus.

Something was up, and I wanted to know what.

During the class, Lily was still flirting with me, and Peter and Sirius were still sniggering at me behind my back. It didn't help that our potion didn't look right, because Lily was distracting me, while I was putting some ingredients in.

Lily can be such a distraction, when she is acting odd.

Not to mention, my mind was trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Lily was acting strange, and my one of my marauder friends would disappear every class. Then Smith announces that she had ingredients stolen from her (but that much I didn't really care for, just wanted to add to the list of problems).

As I was putting in a bezoar (even though I don't think that was the right ingredient), Lily was reciting some bloody poetry...something that Sirius would think that Remus would do. She stopped in the middle of a sentence and touched her stomach, as if she was in pain. She turned to look for Smith, who had her back turned, thn quickly took out a vial and drank the contents. She grimaced in digust, but then continued her poem.

Suddenly, the door to the dugeon opened. Now normally, I wouldn't care (unless t was McGonagall), but it was something to take my mind off the poetic Lily Evans. I turned to the door to see who it was.

Lile Evans.

A pissed off Lily Evans.

I swear I could see smoke steaming out of her ears.

The class stopped. Cauldrons were ignored, ingredients, fell to the floor. No one breathed.

Professor Smith looked at the Lily that was sitting next to me, to the Lily standing at the door. The entire class, including me could be seen doing the same. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Padfoot and Wormtail pale.

Busted.

"Can someone please explain why there are two Lily Evans standing in my Potions room?" Professor Smith said, just as confused as everyone else.

That's when it hit me. Like that time Sirius swung his beater bat at a bludger and it hit me in my face. Or the time that Sirius stole Remus' version of Hogwarts, A History, and smack me in the face because I wouldn't wake up. Or the other time when Sirius took an empty cauldron and hit me in my back, because I accidently ate a potion ingredient while staring at Lily.

Sirius causes me so much pain at times.

I put all the clues together and figured it out. The three idiots have been taking polyjuice potion during classes (and breakfast) and pretended to be Lily. They stole the ingredients from Smith before school ended, and they must have knocked Lily out or locked herin her room.

Me, being the great person I am, was proud to have figured out something so complexed. I had to smile. The marauders did do a good job with the prank. Not that I liked it. It was just so complex.

No doubt Remus thought of it.

Speaking of my soon-to-be-dead werewolf of a friend, I turned to where the fake Lily Evans was sitting. I smirked at him/her.

"Well, Moony. Care to explain why you were caught redhanded?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Another voice came from the door. I turned to the door, and next to the pissed off Lily, was a disheaveled Moony.

Damn it, there goes my perfect conclusion.

"Your late."

"I have a note. I was...um..." He decided to leave it at that, and just gave the note to Smith.

Now, if Smith was any normal teacher, she would have just read the not to herself, and excused Moony. But no. She was an evil teacher, and felt that it was her duty to tease Moony whenever possible.

"It states here that you were being harassed by a member of the opposite sex. No doubt about it, it was probably your excuse, when in fact you two were doing things on your own free will. 50 points from Gryffindor," she turned to the real Lily, "As for you, I don't know what os going on, but one of you better explain."

The Lily by the door spoke. "Professor, I was getting ready to go the the Great Hall for breakfast, when someone locked me in a broom closet. I managed to get out before Transfiguration, but I had left something in the library from yesterday, and I went to get it, but then I was knocked unconscious and then locked in a broom closet.

Smith looked at her, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth. Smith hated all Gryffindors, with a fiery passion. She preferred Slytherins over anyone. She even admitted it. She loved to catch Gryffindors in he act and then punish them unmericiully. Yet, I always thought that she might have a soft spot for Lily. Probably because she was the smartest witch our age. Of course, since Lily was in Gryffindor, and a muggleborn at that, Smith had to treat her like everyone else that wasn't Slytherin.

A worthless piece of crap.

I wondered how long it was going to take for Smith to use some sort of invisible, telekinesis thing or whatever type of special veritaserum to see if Lily was lying or not. I knew Lily was innocent, but my opinion never mattered in this class...or any class for that matter.

"Fine then. Seeing as you are Head Girl, and a gryffindor, I wouldn't expect you to lie to a higher authority," Smith smirked, "But just to make it look like I'm not going soft or anything, 100 points from Gryffindor."

The class...well more of the gryffindors...were shocked. I was shocked to.

"And before you ask, 25 for Ms. Evans being late, 25 for Mr. Lupin being late, and 50 for Mr. Black because he keeps staring at my bottom," Professor Smith just in time to see Padfoot staring at her bottom. "I would like it if you would stop fantasizing about a teacher-student relationship, Mr. Black."

Padfoot blushed, confirming that he was thinking about Smith in a sexual way, and turned to look next to me, confused. I looked over to where the fake Lily was. The fake Lily, however, was gone.

The class, and Smith, looked from where the real Lily was standing, to where the fake Lily was sitting. This was too much for me. I didn't know how much more confusig this class could be today.

Thankfully, Smith was thinking what I was thinking. "Class dismissed."

No one needed to be told twice, as we ran out of the class. My fellow marauders and I ran to the Head Dorm. I was going to confront them, but unfortunately for me (and more unfortunately for them), Lily beat me to it.

"Why in the bloody hell was there another me sitting by Potter?"

She cursed. That meant that she was really PO'ed.

"Ahh, Evans. Just the person we wanted to see. Did you have a twin that you never told us about?" Sirius asked with an innocent look in his eyes.

"No I do not have a bloody twin sister!"

"Then why was there two of you?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out!"

"Oh. Then why didn't you say so?"

Luckily, for Sirius' continued health, Moony interrupted.

"Sorry Lily, but we really don't understand what is going on. But I assure you, none of this was our fault."

Lily's face softened as Remus explained. Of course she could trust Moony. He was a prefect, and it was against his code of conduct to lie to the Head Girl.

Was it against his code of conduct to lie to the Head Boy...

"We really truly have no idea what happenend."

Yep.

Lily looked at each of us. Remus looked smart (like he always does when he's explaining something), Peter was cowering behind a cushion (what happened to Gryffindor bravery), I was staring at Lily (she glared at me when she saw exactly where I was glaring at), and Siruis was picking his nose (did he just flick a booger in Lily's hair?)

"Alright. But if any of you find out more info about this, you better let me know. Or else." Lily went to walk towards the door, but the dumb Padfoot had to say something else.

"Too bad you don't have a twin Lily. You could have made James' fantasy come to life."

A vase hit Padfoot, right in his nose.

_3rd person POV_

James laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He could hear the frequent scratching of a quill, as he told the story.

"So, has Lily figured it out yet?" the Nerd asked.

"Nope. I don't even know what is going on."

"Well, I'm sure you will find out when the time is write."

"You sound like Dumbledore."

The Nerd sighed. "I get that quite often."

James got out of his seat and headed towards the door. "I'll be back next week."

"Good luck, Mr. Potter."

As soon as the Head Boy shut the door, The Nerd took out the Maurauder's Map, and looked for James. Thankfully, he was heading for the Head Tower. The Nerd sighed and took off his fake moustache and fake glasses.

"Alright, Padfoot, Wormtail. You can come out now."

Sirius and Peter walked out of a closet and sat on the couch, grinning, as well as an eager second-year.

"So, how much do I get for taking an illegal polyjuice potion and posing as Lily?" asked the second-year, holding out his hands.

"You get the opportunity to sit with us as we laugh about Prongs' day," answered Sirius.

"But that's not fair. Do you know how risky that was?" said the little boy, still holding his hands out.

"Duh, that's why _we _didn't take it during potions," Sirius pointed to the three maurauders.

"Oh here," Remus took a couple of sickles out, as well as a coupon for Zonko's, "take this, and you better not tell anyone."

The little boy looked at the coupon. "This is expired."

"So is your time. Now be gone!" Sirius waved him off.

Once the boy left, it was quiet. The fireplace crackled as the boys sat there, thinking.

"You know, he's going to hate us when this is all over." Remus broke the silence.

"He'll get over it when we give him a bachelor's party"

* * *

Yeah so, that was probably the longest chapter, as well as the most boring and most confusing chapter. Please don't flame me though.

PS-I'm looking for a beta, because I desperatly need one. Also I should have a new fic out in a couple of days. Its a Dragonball Z one, so for all my DBZ fans, try to check it out soon. Unfortunatly, I'm still working on a title, but never fear, I'll think of something!  
Ta-ta!


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